Hailing from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, these death metal champs have been dishing out blackened doom vibes since 2024. Their third album, Absurd Populace, dropped on Valentine’s Day 2025 - because nothing screams romance like a title that basically says, “Humanity’s a dumpster fire.” This time, they’ve slowed things down so much you could probably grow a beard between riffs. Guess they finally got tired of shredding faces off at warp speed.
From the opening riff, it’s clear Helpless Agony isn’t in a rush. Imagine downtuned guitars chugging through molasses while eerie synths sneak in like that creepy neighbor who won’t stop staring. The doom influence is thick - it’s less “rip your face off” and more “gently crush your soul while you sip your tea.” If you’re the kind of metalhead who needs it fast and furious, grab a coffee - this one’s a slow burn. They still toss in some blast beats and Ron Agony’s signature growls (he’s basically auditioning for “Angriest Man Alive” and nailing it), but don’t expect a sprint.
The atmosphere’s heavy enough to smother you, and when they hit those big moments, it lands like a ton of bricks. That said, they sometimes drift into weird, spacey sections that feel like they forgot what song they were playing. It’s like, “Guys, did you leave the riff at home?” Not every experiment sticks the landing, but when it works, it’s brutal in the best way.
Ron Agony’s vocal delivery is as intense as ever - like he’s one bad day away from challenging the universe to a cage match. Lyrically, he’s screaming about how dumb the world is, pouring his heart out like he’s gunning for the “Most Miserable Lyrics” award. Dude’s got issues, but damn, it makes for good metal. With a title like Absurd Populace, don’t expect any love ballads - just pure, unfiltered bleakness with a side of irony.
This isn’t their masterpiece - Universal Deterioration still wears that crown - but it’s a gutsy pivot for a band not afraid to mess with the formula. It’s so slow you might catch yourself checking your watch, but it’s heavy enough to keep you hooked if you’re patient. Call it a 3.5 out of 5: solid, not a trainwreck, but don’t expect it to blow your mind unless you’re really into feeling bummed out. Helpless Agony’s basically saying, “We’re evolving, deal with it” - and honestly, I respect the hustle, even if I’m still stroking my imaginary beard waiting for the next riff.
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